
Here is just a collection of food pornography from our pig roast collected by a good friend Tim Ireland, dangerous drummer and all around good dancer. I will try to be witty and explicit as I make mention of the situation in which the dark and devilish images were captured in, and when they are light and beautiful I will try not to let that same wit over power the beauty of the image.
Photo – Tim Ireland ©2008 www.irelandscaped.com

When cooking Collard Greens you are unknowingly producing two separate and equally delightful dishes; the collards themselves and the pot lickies. Now you might think that something called pot lickies is mildly off putting in name alone please try to remember that this viscous liquid that remains after the cooked greens have been served is based with bacon, sautéed onions and an assortment of chilies. It is then thickened with the hours of steeping green and cider vinegar; not to mention the smoky delight of the ham hocks that splinter and dissolve, adding a certain gelatinous delight to the broth. Eat your greens and then reserve this for making out with whenever you get a pork hangering. Some old creole friends of mine used to say that it was medicinal and would give it to the sick, I completely believe them.

Pickling is my new favorite thing. Think about it and get back to me. No I mean really think about it.
I will show you some of the more unexpected delights that I have endeavored into recently that will shock you with a repulsive drive to say, “you are wrong my friend. That is disgusting and I refuse your pressures.” You might be right to say such things when you hear about strawberries, peaches, pasta, laser beams, but that prejudice should be completely put aside when I tell you that right now, this very second you should go pickle five head of garlic. After quietly snacking on them while watching TV or with cheese and dried meats in bed with your naked friend, or on your salads with dieters and healthiers, over the next two weeks and then you decide to pickle ten heads for the second round say thank you to me and come back for the expanding list of things you should pickle and add to the collection in your cupboard.
This pile was the one of the hardest thing for people to deal with. To say that there was some anticipation in the crowd waiting for the food to be served would underestimate the skill of the team of people involved in seasoning, cutting and slapping pig around all morning. These ribs needed to rest before being portioned and there was a palatable anger emanating from the people who were standing right next to the butcher table just wanting to grab one rib, one quick bit, just one snack before the meal was served. Good things come to those who wait, better things come to those who wait patiently, the best of releases come after hours of teasing and flagrant tantalization.

I am not sure that this means anything to you, but this was 12” across and 36” long. It was 60C (140F), it seared the gloves onto your hands, it steamed in your face, it splattered on your shirt (and vest if you are named Jonathan). It was spiced, its spice burned your eyes, whetted your palate, flaked apart under your hand. It wait and drove tens of people to the point of furious desire, it was covered in sauces; dirty and sweet, bitter and pungent, homemade and delightful (thank you Hunter).

This is just gratuitous and I know that. You are also welcome; even you vegetarians. I know you secretly covet this. I have seen your reaction to it on my table, in restaurants next to me, in the backs of cabs as you hover over my lips after a meal as we head over bridges and under tunnels. It is ok, it is really that good and we all happily will keep enticing you until you come back into the fold.

This is the start of so many of the things we eat it is almost impossible to separate from our diets. If only the government could figure out a way to grow onions with corn; direct oil injections, corn oil fertilizer I am sure our c4 ratios would be near complete. Until then we can sit back and delight in the sweetness of onions in and on everything.
Getting it done

Roasted pig skin, glazed with apple cider vinegar mop that had just a touch of pepper sauce and a schmear of ketchup to allow for a slight caramelizing. Undoubtedly at some point it will rupture and spill the delicious fat back out on to the hot coals, but just pray that you are close by when this happens so you can enjoy the fuliginous haze that will settle over the campfire and coat your skin with a fine glaze.
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